Let me tell you something about my husband. We've been married 8 years and each year I'm thankful that our path has led us to remain close and to survive the "statistics" that go hand in hand with the word marriage. But most of all, I'm thankful that we still get along after 6 years of children. We've actually been together 14 years, and those years have brought about many struggles. We lost my mom the first year of our relationship. He could've run from that, because I'm still not the same person I was. When you lose your best friend, you lose a piece of yourself that never really heals. God has filled that hole, but I still miss her so much my heart feels it might break apart again. He stood by me during it, and he tries his best to be sensitive to it now. We had the typical dating relationship. You know, you get mad, break up, make up and the cycle would continue. He broke my heart once. Really bad. But I've never doubted my choice to live my life as his wife. And I'm thankful for that.
Some of us have husbands who are "hands on guys" who jump right in when they walk in the door and play with the kids while we finish up supper or straighten up. But I haven't actually MET any of those men. I have met men who pick up the kids from daycare and start supper (my brother) and helps out SO much. Some men do absolutely nothing. They take their clothes off and leave them where they land, feed themselves, no thank yous to the ones who fix it, and lay down for the evening. My husband is not like that. He comes in, carrying the weight of his work on his shoulders, and he tries. He tries to let it go and talk with us. He tries to play a game and sit with them. He tries not to worry about the next day. At least he tries.
Here is something else I'm proud of in my husband. He's come to almost every function I've had at school. For example, I'm required to come to some "dances" and programs (even before I had kids) and Chad accompanied me to all of them. He came to every one of our bridal showers, to every baby shower we were given, and he comes to EVERY function his children have. He's a good daddy.
The reason I share this, is because last night we bumped heads over an issue with practice for a sport our children are going to play. I told him that if it was on Wednesday nights, I didn't want them missing church to practice. He got SO mad about it. And it hurt me. (Any of you reading this and are married, know that pain is unfortunately a part of marriage- I've caused it many times myself) But instead of my husband walking away and ignoring me, he listened to me. To my heart. Because I just got quiet and stayed away from him after I spoke my heart. And for me to get quiet is rare (shut up with the jokes). But he came to me later and apologized and hugged me SO big and told me how thankful he was for me. He didn't heal his hurt completely, but it did make me feel better. I didn't realize how much a difference of point of view in marriage could damage me. I told him that. But then I realized some women NEVER hear those words "I'm sorry" and they never find resolve. I love Chad more now, because he was willing to apologize and see my point of view. Some women will never have what I have with Chad. And we are NOT perfect. We fight over stupid stuff all the time. And he's typical male in many aspects (like flirting to him is grabbing my tush) but it appears that after 14 years, he's STILL trying to understand me... he's trying!
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