Guess what? I ultimately survived being away from my kids and hubs for two days. Going to see Beth Moore with the girls was an amazing and (hopeful) life changing experience. There is more power than I can tell you in numbers. Let me tell you how I came to truly understand that idea.
A little over a year ago, I was asked to join a Bible study group with some long time friends of Chad's (and mine). I had been asked months earlier and expressed how I'd LOVE to do that, but didn't know. My real problem was that I fear commitments... seriously to the point that I've lost many friends over this. I commit to it, but then end up not following through. I was also battling with a little bit of depression during that time, and I chalked it up to being a mommy of two and working. Especially since all my friends that I talked to told me how "down" they would get and talked me out of lots of my fears (you know, the usual 'I'm a bad mom, I don't do enough at home, I'm a failure' type stuff). But when I finally went to my family doctor and admitted out loud how REALLY down I was, he told me I had some depression. Now I joked in my last blog that I needed to go back on meds... it's because my OB doc had me on Lexapro after Tyler and it wasn't helping. I'm ALL about some meds if you need them, but this one didn't work. When I admitted that I was down (never suicidal) and fearful of being around others a lot, the doc knew something was up... after all, I'm MELISSA.. the bubbly, happy person who makes others laugh (or I try to) but only Chad knew the struggle I had with that. I feel sorry for all my friends that I "avoided" over the years because of my issues. Dr. Ben told me to pray about it, and come back and we'd decide the next step. It was during this same time that Kelly invited me to join the Bible study group. I had felt such a release by sharing my struggle with the doctor and being part of a Beth Moore Daniel study changed my heart, and life, immensely. I became a better... well, everything. I've only missed a handful of nights in over a year, I've started helping at the homeless shelter, and I've learned that I NEED strong, Godly women to support me. They know about my depression and my struggle. I know that others are experiencing this too and are too ashamed to admit it, like I was. But there really is strength in numbers, because ENCOURAGEMENT is so amazing. I pray with these girls and I'm sure miracles happen. I hang out with these girls, and miracles happen in my heart. I challenge all of you out there, who love and fear God, to join my group of prayer warriors, not necessarily in Bible study, but in being part of something that serves others, and sometimes, it serves your own heart.
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